Going Back to Work After Maternity Leave: 5 Tips to Stay Sane and Balanced.
Those early days with a newborn felt so slow, even monotonous at times. But the nights blurred into days, and somehow the weeks of maternity leave vanished far too quickly. Suddenly, you found yourself facing a new chapter: preparing to return to work. Along with the practical logistics, you might notice a mix of emotions — excitement, guilt, anxiety, and even grief -sitting inside of you and talking at the same time, interrupting each other.
You might start thinking about going back to work much earlier than when your maternity leave officially ends. Many women find themselves missing the identity they had before the baby was born — being in the office, chatting with colleagues, having an uninterrupted lunch, or even the rhythm of a daily commute, being fully dressed, and having showered and having a full makeup. When you are dealing with the newborn, these things feel like luxuries or your alien identity. If your work was once a source of joy and connection, you might long for those parts of life.
For others, the relationship with work looks different. Maybe your job felt like a source of stress and expectations, and the idea of returning leaves you feeling drained. Or if you had a stressful boss or a not supportive team or the commute was terrible, you might actually feel overwhelmed by adding going back to work to your plate, which is already full.
The truth is, going back to work after maternity leave is rarely just one thing. It’s more like a rainbow. A rainbow isn’t made up of just one color — it’s the presence of many colors together. In the same way, returning to work can bring a blend of feelings: excitement about adult conversations and reconnecting with colleagues, fear of leaving your baby, the hassle of childcare and breastfeeding logistics, the challenge of juggling two shifts (work and home), and the relief of having something beyond motherhood. All of it can coexist.
I remember when I got back to work, I was sitting in the office and thinking, “It cannot be true that it’s already so good to sit in the quiet space and not be overstimulated, and they will pay more for that!!” But that’s my experience, your experience matters too!
5 Tips for Returning to Work After Maternity Leave
1. Lower Your Expectations
This transition is huge — and it’s normal to feel overwhelmed. Remind yourself that your “workload” now includes three full jobs: adjusting back to work, caring for your child, and managing your own recovery. You can’t (and don’t need to) do it all perfectly. Your plate will already be full — adjusting to work, managing childcare, missing your baby, and figuring out breastfeeding or a pumping schedule. That means your stress level may be higher than usual.
Because of this, it’s important to prioritize what matters most and allow some things to become secondary. For example, if your focus is adjusting to the rhythm of work and managing the emotions of being away from your baby, then house cleaning may need to take a back seat or be delegated to someone else.
Take a moment to notice what thoughts and expectations you hold about going back to work. What do you expect from yourself? And where do these expectations come from — your culture, your family history, social media, or your own inner critic?
Sometimes it helps to imagine a friend in the same situation. What would you suggest to her if she were preparing to go back to work? Would you encourage her to give herself grace and flexibility? Now ask yourself: are you offering the same kindness to yourself, or do you hold yourself to a harsher standard?
2. Notice Your Inner Critical Voice
Your inner critic might whisper that you’re a “bad mother” for going back to work and leaving your baby with a nanny or in daycare. But that voice doesn’t always see the full picture. The full picture is that you might not have a choice or luxury not to return to work, or you are not living in Sweden, where the maternity leave is long, and you might need to provide for the family. Or the full picture is that your choice to go back to work is for your mental health, or because your career is important to you.
3. Simplify, Simplify, Simplify.
“Simplify, simplify, simplify” can become your survival mantra. If you’re breastfeeding, keep a second pump at work so you don’t stress about forgetting it at home. For meals, delegate when possible, or cook simple dishes in bulk and freeze them. These small adjustments free up energy for what matters most. When you come back to work after a long commute, do not try to be Maria Montessori by doing art and crafts, or try a sensory play that you saw on Instagram from another mommy influencer. Just do not do it! Your baby will not say thank you to you, but you will find yourself super exhausted. Instead, cuddle with your baby, bring a cozy blanket, and read a book. That’s more than enough. What is more important, these activities will not drain you and will be gentle with yourself, rather than putting more pressure on being a mom.
4. Lean on Your Village
This is not a time to go it alone. If you're breastfeeding, talk to a lactation consultant about how to smooth out breastfeeding while you're going back to work. Schedule a coffee or check in with a mom friend who has also returned to work. Share survival tips, bring humor to sleepless nights, and remind each other that nobody has it all figured out. Vulnerability builds connection. By normalizing the struggles, you can quiet the inner critic and avoid spiraling into “bad mother” versus “bad employee.”
5. Keep Making Time for New Mom Friendships
Even after you’re back at work, continue building connections with other moms. Join a local Facebook group or sign up for a “mommy and me” class — swimming, music, or a playgroup. These spaces help you form friendships with moms who understand the challenges firsthand. Join a local Yoga studio or Pilates. These are great places to make connections. Staying connected in this way strengthens your identity as a mother while also reminding you that you are not alone in the ups and downs.
Final Thoughts
Going back to work after maternity leave is not about doing it perfectly — it’s about finding a rhythm that feels sustainable. Remember: you don’t need to be the ideal employee and the perfect mother at the same time. Being “good enough” in both roles is already more than enough.
Ready for Support?
If what I’ve shared resonates with you and you’d like more support, I invite you to schedule a consultation with me today. My name is Yuliya Golubev, and I’m a bilingual postpartum therapist helping mothers like you. I provide therapy in Russian and English. I support mothers as they balance career and motherhood, helping them replace self-criticism with self-compassion and navigate postpartum challenges with greater ease, bringing joy to motherhood and relieving the pressure.
